


Mute

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Muteness, Physical Disability, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:31:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They found him writhing and sobbing under a book case, his face purple, his head and mouth bleeding. When they dug him out he didn’t make any noise, just shook and cried as they drove him to the hospital, Jim clinging to his brother like Richard might slip away again and have something crush him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mute

They found him writhing and sobbing under a book case, his face purple, his head and mouth bleeding. When they dug him out he didn’t make any noise, just shook and cried as they drove him to the hospital, Jim clinging to his brother like Richard might slip away again and have something crush him again.

Richard threw up on the car ride to the hospital and they diagnosed a few broken ribs and a concussion. There wasn’t anything they could do except feed him low doses of pain pills and let him rest.

Richard did not talk the first day in the hospital. He tried to on the second and on the third day Jim started screaming because Richard wasn’t telling stories to him, he wasn’t even speaking and he was scared. It wouldn’t be good if Richard never talked ever again because then Jim would always get into trouble and Richard would never be sweet and they’d be  _different_.

They brought Jim back, though. He screamed even louder when Richard wasn’t there, even if he was quiet. And Richard’s heart rate went down when his brother was laying on the bed with him.

—-

The first time their parents fought in front of them was about Richard. It was always about Richard after that.

“We have to get him out of the hospital, he can’t stay here forever, there’s nothing wrong,” their da yelled. He’d been drinking beer, Jim had seen him and didn’t tell Richard. Richard didn’t need to know.

“But he’s not speaking,” came their mum’s quiet voice, struggling to form words. “Please, Aiden.”

“He’s a fucking retard, I’ve been telling you!” their da yelled and mum began to cry, storming off towards the elevator. Da came into their room with a nurse who eased the IV drip out of Richard’s arm and gave their da some pills and they left the hospital, walking the twenty blocks back home.

—-

They started school a week later. Richard hadn’t said a word to anyone. Mum tried bringing him to a doctor but da had yelled at her about money and the doctor said nothing was wrong, anyway. They left too early and got into class too early and everyone was bigger than them.

They colored pictures first and the teacher talked a lot. Jim decided he didn’t like school. Next, they did maths. Well, the teacher said it was maths but they were learning about colors.

“And does anyone know what you get when you mix blue and red?” the teacher asked in her stupid drawl, her voice too high for her accent. “Richard?”

Richard looked up. He did not say anything. Jim raised his hand instead, wanting to go over to Richard. They’d wanted to sit together but the teacher said that the had to be apart and make new friends.

“Come on, don’t be shy. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer,” the teacher said and Richard’s shoulders started to shake. Jim could see it across the room. Richard looked like a leaf in a storm and Jim thought he was proud of that analogy.

Jim shook his head and made a small squeaking noise, shaking his hand, trying to get the teacher’s attention.

“Jim, put your hand down, I called on your brother,” the teacher said. Richard stared at the table in front of him, his face had gone read and his hand fluttered up to press at his throat.

It was obvious the teacher wasn’t going to stop so Jim stood from his desk and walked across the room. He took Richard’s hand and led him out of the classroom, into the playground. It was windy outside and raining slightly. Richard was struggling for air so Jim took him to the swing and made him sit and rocked him slightly, just trying to take care of him.

“Are you okay?” Jim asked. Richard nodded and stared at his feet, his mouth was moving, he was trying to say words but they weren’t coming out right so Jim just sat on the swing next to him and held his hand.

“I’m gonna go get our bags,” Jim said and walked off to the cubbies. Richard followed, taking his backpack when Jim handed it to him. “Do you think we can walk home?”

Richard nodded and took Jim’s hand again, adjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulders. He wanted to ask if mummy and da would get mad but he knew the answer and he couldn’t ask anyway so he shoved the thought aside and just followed Jim towards home.

—-

It took two hours of walking to get home. The were really wet and the cold air made it feel like they couldn’t breathe. When they got inside Jim turned on mummy’s pop music and made Richard a sandwich with peanut butter and chocolate spread and they shared the last bit of milk.

“I think mummy’s gonna be home soon. It’s only lunch time,” Jim said. Richard nodded. He hoped it was okay that they’d walked home from school. The teacher was being mean and well… Jim said it was okay, so it had to be. Richard wished he could write notes to Jim so he wouldn’t have to wish he could talk.

“I love you, Richie,” Jim said a bit suddenly and Richard looked up from the table. “I know that I’m really mean sometimes and angry at a lot of things but I love you and even if I hit you like da does. I don’t mean it, okay?”

Richard blinked. Nodded. Mouthed the words ‘I love you’ and moved to put his plate in the sink. They went into the living room and Jim started bouncing and Richard danced with him, forgetting that they should be at school, forgetting everything for a while with Jim.

—-

Mummy came home at one.

“Why are you boys home?  I was going to pick you up after I got something to eat,” she said sweetly, kissing each boy on the forehead.

“The teacher was being mean to Richie so we walked home,” Jim said and climbed up onto a chair, watching mummy make herself a sandwich. “It was okay though we didn’t get lost and we didn’t talk to strangers and Richard didn’t fall or anything.”

“Jim, you can’t just walk out of school because the teacher was being mean,” mummy sighed, abandoning the bread she’d set out to sit across from the twins.

“She was trying to make Richard talk,” Jim insisted, holding his brother’s hand. Richard nodded and bit at his lip until he could almost taste blood.

“He needs to,” mummy sighed and Richard started to cry quietly, he couldn’t talk. The doctors said his throat had been hurt and that he’d died for a while, he couldn’t talk.

“He’s okay,” Jim insisted. “He doesn’t like talking, it makes him cry…. Mummy! You made Richard cry, stop it!”

“Go to your room,” mummy snapped. “Right now, Jim, get out of here. You’re in big trouble.” Jim made a face but left, still holding Richard’s hand, taking him with.

“You stay,” mummy said and Jim let out a frustrated noise and stomped into their room, slamming the door. Mummy sighed and went back to making her sandwich. “Why won’t you talk to me?” she groaned. She moved slowly and sat at the table. “Richie, darling, you’re safe.”

Richard shook his head and slid down off the chair, walking out of the room and hoping mummy wouldn’t get mad. He went into his room that he shared with Jim and lay down next to him, letting his brother hold him and tell him that he would always protect Richard, no matter what because he had been hurt and he shouldn’t have to talk if he doesn’t want to.

—-

Da and mummy fight again when da gets home. Mummy tells him about what Jim had done and he starts threatening the twins. The he was going to hurt them, they needed to learn discipline. Jim and Richard hid in the bathroom, closing the shower curtain and huddling in the corner, listening.

Their parents were fighting about Richard. It was always about Richard. Jim shouldn’t be jealous but he was because yes, Richard was sick but he was important too and it had been his decision to bring Richard home.

“He needs  _help_ ,” their da yelled and mummy was crying. Richard was shaking again and Jim wished he could block out the noise but even when Richard held his hands and pillows and Jim’s hand to his head he could still hear the yelling.

Mummy was saying things but it was too quiet then things were breaking and Richard was crying so Jim held him tight and kissed his lips. That calmed Richard down a bit and his shoulders seemed a bit more relaxed.

It was hours later when all of the noises and yelling and smashing stopped. Jim left the bathroom first, making sure everything was safe before coming back for Richard, who had dozed off curled in the bathtub.

“Do you wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” Jim asked as if they hadn’t been sharing a bed ever since Richard got back from the hospital. Before that, ever since the tubes had been taken from his throat, since he could breathe normally again and cried when Jim wasn’t with him, even if Jim was hitting him and trying to make him talk.

Richard nodded. He let Jim dress him for bed because mummy wasn’t there. Jim picked out Richard’s book (The Velveteen Rabbit) and read the beginning even though Richard always cried when the doctor said that the little boy had to burn his rabbit and had to have Jim reassure him that Richard would never be gotten rid of, even if Jim got sick with fevers.

Richard fell asleep before that part, though and so Jim put the book away and turned off the light and blinked back tears. He didn’t cry, he was daddy and mummy because neither could take care of his baby brother and  _someone_  had to.

“I love you, bunny,” Jim said to his brother, like he did every night, even before the bed sharing, and held his brother tight to his chest, the way that Richard was holding his teddy bear and fell asleep.

—-

Richard woke up first, suddenly sad that they had to go to school that day. He didn’t want to, not after Jim had stolen him and taken him home even though he’d liked that a lot. They got to dance and he got a sandwich that wasn’t soggy like the ones mummy made.

Richard wanted to ask if they had to go to school that day. When Jim got up Richard stayed in bed, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders.

“Please, bunny. Get up, we  _have to_  go to school,” Jim said. He had a bit of a lisp. Richard had stuttered before he didn’t talk. Mummy said that Jim’s teeth were too big and that it would get better and the reason that Richard stuttered was because his tongue didn’t know how to move.

Richard sighed and stood up, tugging on the clothes Jim had handed him. He couldn’t tie his own shoes yet so Jim did it for him. They went into the kitchen cautiously, treading over broken glass, moving slowly. All the plates had been broken. All of them. And cups, too. Mummy’s favorite mug was shattered on the floor next to the fridge. Richard picked a piece up and put it in his pocket.

Richard got the chocolate spread and the peanut butter from the fridge. Jim made them both sandwiches. Richard got them apples and juice boxes from the fridge. They shared a lunch bag.

Mummy came into the kitchen, watching the boys make themselves lunch silently.

“Jimmy, honey. I’m sorry for yelling,” mummy said, ignoring Richard. Richard was always ignored now, except when they were fighting over him.

“It’s okay, mummy. I understand,” Jim piped up. “Are you gonna drive us to s-school?”

Mummy nodded. “You go out to the car, I’ll be out in a moment, sweetie.”

Jim took the lunch bag and Richard followed him to the car. He felt like a shadow and waved just to make sure he hadn’t accidentally turned invisible. Jim looked at him and took his hand.

Jim buckled them in and stared out the window to make sure mummy was actually coming. She’d forgotten them before. Not for a while, but she had.

“What happened to you?” Jim asked idly. “Are you scared to talk? Are you sick or hurt or just scared.”

Richard wanted to say it was none of that, that he was just broken and he couldn’t talk. There wasn’t a reason. He just couldn’t.

Mummy came and put a suitcase in the seat next to her. Richard wanted to ask why she had it there. Jim knew why it was there.

—-

They got teased at school. Someone started throwing rocks at Richard at lunch so the twins hid in the bathroom and Jim told Richard to stand up straighter and look angry and switch clothes with Jim and when they went back out everyone was throwing rocks at Jim until he punched them.

They had to stay inside for recess and didn’t get any cookies. Neither of them.

—-

It was raining again after school. It had been raining at lunch too but not as badly. Jim hadn’t thought it would get worse but it did. They waited in the rain for an hour before Jim just started walking home.

“Mummy isn’t gonna come pick us up,” Jim explained when Richard tugged on his shirt. So Richard went quiet and walked with Jim even though his feet still hurt from walking yesterday. When they got home the house was empty so Jim got the key from under the mat again and opened the door.

Richard fell asleep on the couch while Jim watched telly. He woke up again when da came home and Jim pushed Richard upstairs.

Richard stayed at the top even though Jim had told him to go to their room.

“Did you get into trouble again?” their da screamed at Jim. He stared at the ground and didn’t say anything and Richard was scared for a moment. Was Jim impersonating him so that he wouldn’t get in trouble with da? He hoped it wasn’t like that but it looked like it was.

“Speak up, you worthless little shit,” their da shouted and Richard saw Jim fall to the floor, not shouting, just beginning to shake like Richard knew he did when he got scared. He was shaking now. Richard stood and went into his room and cried.

—-

Jim came in later. Richard wasn’t sure how much later, he’d been thinking and dosing slightly. He thought about stabbing himself with a knife but he wasn’t sure why. He thought maybe stabbing himself with a knife would be better than staying here with da.

“He hit me a lot,” Jim said and sat next to Richard on the bed. “I think we’re gonna have to go to bed without dinner.”

Richard stood up and got some of his drawing paper and crayons from the drawer. He sat on the floor and drew his striped shirt which was still on Jim and Jim’s green shirt that he was wearing. He drew arrows to make sure Jim knew they were switched then he drew stick figures and neither of them were smiling.

“What is that?” Jim asked quietly. “Are you trying to say stuff without saying stuff?”

Richard nodded. Jim let out a sigh and looked at the drawing.

“Is this about switching clothes?” Jim asked suddenly. Richard nodded. “Oh. Do you think da was yelling at me because he thought I was you?” Richard nodded again. “I dunno. I just know he was yelling. I’m okay, Richie. It doesn’t hurt that bad, I promise.”

Richard nodded again. He turned the page over and drew mummy’s dress and her bag and took out her piece of the mug from his trousers.

“Mummy?” Jim asked. “Oh. I think she left.” Richard kept looking at Jim. “Richie, she’s not coming back. Da said she wasn’t.” Richard gestured to himself and hoped Jim would understand, this was so frustrating, he wished he could talk. “It wasn’t because of you. It was because da broke her head, I think. I dunno. I just wanna go to bed.”

Richard nodded even though he was so hungry his stomach hurt. He lay in bed next to Jim and held him and ignored that Jim was crying because he wasn’t supposed to know his brother cried and was anything less than an angel to him. Richard wished he could say how much he loved Jim. Maybe if he got better at drawing things would be easier.


End file.
